Wednesday, January 20, 2010

What I'm grateful for January 20:


1. UNDERWIRE BRA STORIES: thanks to those who emailed me their own underwire bra stories, especially this one from Ms G: ‘I too used to love the underwire bra, until the wire popped out of one once, mid-exercise, and stabbed me in the side-boob! Once a bra has impaled you it really loses its appeal...’ Indeed it does! I also appreciate the email from Ms B in regards to her control top pantyhose. And the one about Nancy Ganz Pants... ok girls, you can stop helping me now.
2. FOR BEING A WOMAN: In a fleeting misguided moment, I wrote on Facebook today that I was going to come back as a man in my next life. I was quickly reminded that men have nasal hair and ugly dangly bits that act inappropriately without warning. Of course, there was a long list of ‘sweeping generalisations’ that I wouldn’t dream about publishing here.
3. CHOCOLATE: simply because it solves every single unpleasant emotional moment. Today’s chocolate of choice: Mint Intense by Lindt.
4. MUSCLES: I’m grateful for the muscles I’m finally getting. Most of them however are still buried under flesh, just waiting to come out. In the meantime, I’m grateful for the opportunity to look at other people’s muscles.
5. CONTROLLED BLADDER: I’m grateful – as is one of my readers who shall remain nameless – for not having peed myself in front of 20,000 people. I feel sorry for the young ball boy who wet himself during the match between Belgian Christophe Rochus and American Donald Young.

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