Jacob with other young leaders at the QIYLP in Brisbane
I was in a dark place in my life!
I lost many significant people in my life in various ways, such as manslaughter,
suicide, multiple car accidents, cancer and drowning, before I even turned 21.
These things happened in such a short amount of time, but the thing that was a
catalyst to my spiral was the stopping of the attempted suicide of one of my
best mates at the time.
I was deep in depression; anxiety
was growing and dealing with post-traumatic stress/flashbacks and I was
surrounding myself with negative influences. Spiralling out of control with the
use of alcohol, smoking and the domino effect eventually continued to substance
abuse. I was still working, paying bills but it wasn’t long before I found
myself borrowing money, selling items I worked hard for, angry at the world and
pushing the people I love and care so much for away. I neglected the reasons
why I was depressed, which were loss and grief.
My name is Jacob Ridgeway a proud
young Worimi & Kamilaroi man. That is the person I unfortunately become but
my positive change was yet to come
In February, I made a sacrifice
to move 2000km away with a car full of belongings from my home in Newcastle in
NSW and move north to Townsville in QLD. I quit smoking, stopped drinking and
separated myself from the negatives in my life that were making me unhappy. I
called it downsizing the quantity of life and upgrading my quality of life but
had no specific timeframe. I managed to lose 17kgs, stopped drinking/smoking
and pushed aside the people who couldn’t support the fact I want better for
myself and for one day a family of my own. I soon gained employment and a
hunger for higher quality independence with my own place to live.
My pace personally and
professionally began to pick up but what I didn’t anticipate was that an email
to apply from the Queensland Indigenous Youth Leadership Program would change my life. With the support of my work place, I applied for the
program not knowing what to think, but knowing I would learn some tools to
better myself and to better others on my journey.
Last week I had the opportunity
to meet 40-50 strangers in the Queensland Indigenous Youth Leadership Program
2013 in Brisbane. I had the opportunity to listen to some deadly people from
all aspects of life and hear their journey. Some of these people included Dr
Anita Heiss, Kaylah Tyson,
Mark Hunter, Wally Tallis, Luke Carroll
and many of the individuals or people from various government and
non-government organisations.
Each guest speaker had their
story of trials and triumphs and the thing I began to think about was that
‘There are many more ways to measure success in this life’. They all had a
simple concept of ‘Dream it, Believe it, Achieve it’. This concept is all well
and good, however a crucial aspect of this concept was missing which is ‘Plan
it’. All the above people emphasised the importance of goal setting and all
mentioned how that is was a key factor of success and reaching their outcomes.
Queensland Indigenous Youth Leadership
Program 2013 has been the most rewarding experience of my life. I did things
that I thought I would never do without liquid confidence such as clowning/performing
around the mall, singing up around the bar. I was blessed to meet new people
who also shared a vision for themselves and those around them. The support and
encouragement from everyone was incredible.
Friday 5th July 2013,
I was involved in probably the most powerful experiences of my life with other
participants. We had an adjournment debate on about things or issues that were
important to us. Tears were flowing from the stories told and it was great to
see people who I could now call friends express their topics with such passion,
very moving.
Below is a copy of my speech that
meant the world to me to share which was inspired from a yarn with Justin Noel
and by presentations of Dr. Anita Heiss & Kaylah Tyson.
“I knew I was here to grow and lead,
absorbing truth and wisdom to believe and achieve.
Here with all my Murri mob in Brissy for
the week, but it wasn’t so long ago that future seemed just bleak.
Depression & dependence were some
obstacles for me, not to mention these growing pains I had with anxiety.
Made the shift from Newy & moved up
north to the ‘Ville, made commitments to myself of which I knew I had to deal.
Stability with my job; stability with my
weight; stability for my family for mind, body and souls sake.
Completed my goals now and so ready to
make new ones, time to take this chance I have to lead but remember to have
fun.
I lost the morals of the man my parents
raised me to be, though I’m not the only brother or sister to struggle with
loss of identity.
Help nurture our talents and our skills;
we are the oldest culture you know, because our people are more than the
negative traits that the media only seem to show.”
This was the 1st time
I had openly expressed my inner battles and it was a relief to express issues
with the support of those around me. I not long after found a passion within
myself which I haven’t had in a very long time.
Jeremy Ambrum played a massive
role in my speech in where we had a conversation at the start of the week and
the reoccurring theme was ‘Vulnerability’. I now know that letting go of my
personal barriers is essential for happiness and wellbeing. I use to think of
it as a weakness, but it’s the complete opposite. We need to be open to feel anything
because vulnerability is honesty. Thank you my brother.
Last week I had the opportunity
to meet 40-50 strangers in the Queensland Indigenous Youth Leadership Program
2013 in Brisbane. This week I can now call these strangers my family. Thank you
to everyone, I will never forget the past week and know that you guys have
played an important role in my life's journey.
I'm grateful for the work Nigel
Daisy, Amy Wockner and especially Louisa Panuel put in for us along with Aaron
Nagas, Justin Noel and all mentors involved especially our teams’ mentor Regina
Orcher (Team Purple). I can’t thank you guys enough for the time and effort
placed in our group.
This is just the beginning;
beginning of a new chapter; new step; a chance to use the skills that have
empowered us to instil positive change from the bottom to the top, from
wherever our path takes us. Be sure to remember the achievements, milestones,
hard work, setbacks and sacrifices that we have encounter as each one defines
where were are at, where we have been and where we are going.
My short term goals are:
• Completing
Cert 4 – Mental Health.
• Visit
Cairns.
• Keep
learning the guitar.
• Keep
seeing a vocal coach.
• Post
videos or recordings of me singing.
Long term goals are:
• Move
to Brisbane.
• Record
music.
• Combine my skills welfare and
music to tell my story and build awareness of issues in community.
• Have a beautiful girl and family
of my own to share and support each other’s gifts, dreams and goals.
I can’t effectively do all this
on my own in Townsville and need to finish rebuilding my relationship with my
immediate family. I have unfinished business in Newcastle and I need to take a
step back for me to move forward. I have made the hard decision to return home
for now but my goals and focus remains the same. DETERMINATION, DEDICATION,
MOTIVATION!
NAIDOC week http://www.naidoc.org.au/
is a special time for me. It gives me time to reflect & celebrate the
history, culture and achievements of our people. NAIDOC is a time where we get
the opportunity to share our culture on a broader level. NAIDOC is a great
opportunity to participate actively and support community.
This year I have had the
opportunity on being a guest at Heatley State School and Ingham High School.
This is an honour to be able to represent my people so far away from home and
speak about the pride I hold with my Aboriginal heritage and history.
When I think of people that
helped shape where we are today names come up like Eddie Mabo, Charles Perkins, Cathy Freeman, Arthur Beetson and Ernie Dingo. On a more personal
level I think of people back in my own community such as my father Justin
Ridgeway (First Worimi Police Officer), relative Dr. Kelvin Kong
(First Indigenous Surgeon), friend &
mentor Joel Wenitong (The Last Kinection – Medicine Student) but
the big name for me would be my grandfather & Worimi Elder Noel ‘John’
Ridgeway OAM.
You ask any member of our family
or community and he is a man who has been through the struggle; he is a man who
has done it tough; he has paid his dues; been rewarded with the highest of accolades
for our people and is well respected by our community and its surrounds. This
respect was shown recently when he needed urgent surgery to correct
deteriorating vision and community held a fundraiser to assist. We had plenty
of donations, raffles & auctions rolling in but the biggest names I seen on
the list were Anthony and Tony Mundine. Anthony and Tony donated a set of
signed boxing gloves for auction to help my pop.
I know how important our pop is
to us as a family but it was an eye opener just to see how important he is to
our community and other areas. The list of awards he has received is remarkable
so it shouldn’t be a surprise of the influence he has had on our people. This
list includes OAM, Premiers Medal, Port Stephens Citizen of the Year and many
more.
To finish I would like to say; be
proud of who are; have fun; embrace yourself, your strengths and continually
push our limits to better ourselves and our people and spread the message of
love and respect to ourselves and each other.
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